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Many people come to see me disillusioned with life saying they have nothing to look forward to. Probably one of the most common dynamics that they have in their life is that they are more interested in others than themselves.

So what do I mean by that?

Well, invariably they have found that their lives revolve around their children, their pets, their work, the soap operas and reality tv they watch, and now their on-line practices. The culmination of all of this is that they have no time to self reflect and self improve. They have no time to go to the gym or go to a class or do something productive that will help them in their career or give them something in their personal lives that will leave them feeling satisfied with achievement.

You may say ‘yeah but there’s nothing wrong with any of the above’, but when you get into the daily habit of all the aforementioned you start to realise that your weight as increased, or you feel less healthy and energetic which leads to a lowering of confidence and self esteem which leads you to hide away more at home and at work, which leads you to depression and loneliness and only cyber friends to keep you company!

Then it just becomes one massive defence mechanism, a massive dose of cutting ones nose off to spite the face, you feel safe at home because you don’t have to face up to the reality of going out not feeling confident and sooner or later unless you seek professional assistance you become a recluse of sorts only being around others through necessity.

The problem is we now live in a digital age of internet addiction, gossip addiction in the form of trashy celeb magazines such as Hello, Heat etc and even Nuts for men. And we have celebrities doing the craziest things on tv for our amusement that end up being the talk of the town the next day at work! Unfortunately this means there is less time spent on positive reinforcement of our selves and who we are, we talk about ourselves less and less, we don’t face up to who we are inside, who we are in the mirror as much often until it gets to a stage that can take a lot of hard work to get back to where we were before. I have that problem with maintaining a flat belly from time to time!

We live in a world of fast food and fast food information where everything is spoon fed to us for short term fulfillment, it’s a media of ‘look at this person, aren’t they ‘pretty, silly, ugly, naughty, controversial, evil” and before we’ve had time to spend more than a few minutes thinking about ourselves there’s someone else talking about someone else continuously eating away at our ability to maintain attention on the important things in our life.

We’re not encouraged to see the bigger picture, to set medium and long term goals, to develop ourselves year on year. But I live in hope, there are many people out there who do make the most out of life, looking for new challenges, to test themselves to the limit or simply to work hard at being a caring person to those around them without getting sucked into 3 hours a night TV.

The key to confidence and happiness for me is to continually act on improving yourself and helping others in whatever way they choose.

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